It Takes Two
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: Even Alexandria the Great fell. Twice, now, actually. - One-shot, set in the Parenthood series.
For what would be such a tumultuous day, it actually started out quite regularly.

Mirajane arose long before the others, as to begin her morning routine, with Laxus following about half an hour later. She showered and got ready for work while he, first, went to peek into the crib in the corner of their room and be sure that his baby was still snoozing away, but just as quickly was heading down to the basement, where he had some gym equipment, to get a good work out in before any of the kids awoke.

He'd just finished that up and was tagging out with Mirajane for their bathroom so he could catch a shower when it happened.

"Something's wrong!"

It was Nathan, their oldest child, that came barging into the bedroom, not even knocking first. Mirajane, who was over at the crib, lifting their youngest into her arms, glanced over with a frown.

"What?" she asked as he only rushed over to her, standing there in only his underwear (though that was thanks to his father, who slept in his boxers, and therefore made such a thing cool). "Nate? What-"

"He won't wake up!" Reaching out, he tried to grab at her arm, as if to tug her away. "Come on!"

"Who won't?" Laxus had been heading into the shower, but came rushing back out there in only a towel. "Is it Gramps? Shit. What-"

"No." Nathan's eyes were round and full of tears as he stared up at both of them then. "It's Two. Come help him!"

Mira and Laxus both spared one another a glance at that before she moved to pass off the baby in her arms to him and rush off after Nathan. Laxus only turned to put the by then awake Ivory back in her crib before rushing to slip back on some pants and go figure out what was going on.

When Laxus came running into Nathan's room, it was to the sound of crying, though that wasn't his son sobbing. Rather, it was his nephew, Mace, who had spent the night with them, and was down on the floor with Nathan, staring down at their dog, both begging Mirajane to do something.

"Lax." Mirajane glanced back at him as he came into the room, her eyes pretty watery too. "I don't..."

"Can't we take him to the vet?" Nathan was always practical. "Please? You gotta take him to the vet."

Coming to stand over his wife, Laxus bent down before gently pressing his palm on the dog's chest and then its stomach. Finally, he shook his head before glancing at the two boys.

"I'm sorry, Nate," he sighed as he got to his feet. "Mace. He's gone."

"No!" Nathan wasn't done with the animal though and went back to trying to shake him awake. "Two, you gotta get up. You have to!"

Mira, who was still sitting on her knees in front of the dog's head, only stroked his fur gently. "He was old, honey. Very old. And-"

"But he was fine last night." That came from Mace, who was just staring up at his uncle, tears still falling. He had some more decency, recently, than Nate, in that, yeah, he slept in his underwear too, but he also wore an undershirt too. Again, more due to what Elfman wore to bed, but whatever. "What happened?"

"It's just how...death works," Laxus said slowly, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. "It comes when you least expect it. One minute you're asleep and the next you might be-"

"What?"

"Laxus!" Mirajane, still sobbing, took the time up to glare at him for that. "Don't tell them that!"

Nathan, still refusing to cry, rushed around the dog then to go shove at Laxus.

"What are you-"

"We have to go!" Nathan was trying to push him out the door. "Go get his leash so we can-"

"Nate, there's nothing that we can-"

"We have to!" He even stomped his foot. "Maybe they can do something."

"Nate, he's not breathing. I'm sorry, buddy, but-"

"What's goin' on?"

And then, there, in the doorway to the bedroom, was Pike, who still very much so loved his pajamas with the little cartoon renditions of animals on them. Rubbing at his bleary eyes, he asked, "Are you okay, Mommy?"

No. Mira, though she had known for quite a while that the moment was coming, was rather broken up about her poor mutt. She was still in shock, just a bit, as she continued to gently stroke the dog's muzzle.

"Uh, Pike." Laxus turned to go walk over to him and take him out of the room. "Maybe-"

"Two died," Mace sniffled as Nathan, done with his father, went back to Mirajane's side in hopes that she could help his dog.

"What?" And then Pike's crying started. "Why? What happened?"

"Nothin' happened, buddy." Laxus figured Mirajane had a pretty good handle on the older kids (or at the very least, he had none at all and wanted out of there) and moved to lead the youngest of the boys out of the room. "We talked about this sort of thing. Remember? About how this sorta thing just happens. It's just part of being alive, you know."

Pike only glanced back, over his shoulder, back into the room where Nathan was still insisting that Mirajane help Two out. "But Nate says we can help him. Why can't we help him?"

"Nathan's wrong. He's just...uh… C'mere. Let's go check on Ivory, huh? That always makes you happy."

"But what about-"

"I'll take care of it." Laxus even patted him on the head. "And buck up; big boys don't cry."

But Pike didn't wanna be a big boy. At all. He wanted to go in there and cry and throw a fit with Nathan.

It was only fair. After all, compared to his big bubba, Pike very much so was the baby. In all uses of that term.

Laxus only took Pike and Ivory to Makarov's room. The man wasn't up yet, as he found out, but was willing to watch them.

"I gotta go...do whatever you do now," Laxus mumbled to his grandfather. Pike was in the man's bed then, sobbing still, while Makarov only sighed and got to his feet to take Ivory from her father. "Just watch them for a minute, huh?"

Back in Nathan's room, the boy and his cousin were gone, but Mirajane was still in there, with the dog. And when Laxus approached her, she only glanced up.

"Hey," he whispered before leaning down to stare at her. "I know that you loved this dog a lot, but he was old, demon. And-"

"Laxus, I'm not a child." Still, she sniffled before glancing back down at her mutt. "I'm more sad for the boys than me, honestly." Grinning a bit then, at her dog, she said, "He was old and hurting and now he's feeling much better."

"Hey, go tell that to the boys, huh?" Laxus liked the sound of that. "Wherever they ran off to. And Pike too." It was his turn to glance at poor ol' Two. "I'll, uh, take care of this guy, huh? Where do you take dead animals, anyways? You think if I put him out by the curb, the trash guys will-"

"Laxus Dreyar!"

"What? I mean, what the hell else would we do with him? I mean- No." He saw the look her face then. "Mirajane-"

"It'll help the boys with closure."

"It's a damn dog! No. We're not going to-"

"Yes." Mira got to her feet. "We are."

And that, quite simply, was how Laxus found himself out in the back yard with a shovel, digging up a hole for poor Two.

Needless to say, he was not happy about it.

Inside, however, a much more somber scene was occurring.

Namely, the boys were getting ready for their first ever funeral.

Makarov had more than a few concerns.

"You're aren't afraid of...scarring them?" he asked his granddaughter-in-law at one point. The boys were in the living room, Nate writing out a eulogy (which his mother had explained to them was just a big speech about the deceased; Nathan, obviously, took up this task before either other boy could try) while Mace drew up some funeral programs, which his aunt had told him they'd hand out to everyone that came.

It was gonna be a pretty big funeral, the boys were pretty sure. Everyone loved Two.

Everyone.

Pike, for his part, was mostly moping around and crying. Nate kept calling him a baby for it whenever Gramps or Mira weren't around, but Pike didn't care. So Nate was a big boy. Great. Awesome. Good for him. Gold star for the little man.

But Pike was going to cry over his puppy like a big baby and his brother could just get the hay over it.

"Of course not, Master," Mirajane said in the kitchen, where she was starting on breakfast for the kids (though they'd all no doubt claim not to be hungry, which clearly said something about how much they loved their doggy because, seriously, those three could put away some breakfast). "We used to raise animals when I was growing up. We would bury all of them."

"And have little...memorial services for them?"

'Sometimes." Mira gave him a sad grin that time. "The more comfortable the boys are with death, the better. It's not as Laxus and Mace's parents live the safest life. I think that pets are a great chance to learn young that yes, things die; but we don't feel bad about that. We just remember all the good times about them and keep moving on.'

Makarov only bowed his head. "I think they could get over it just fine without a big hullabaloo."

Shaking her head, just a bit, Mirajane said, "It'll be a good introduction to funerals. It's part of life. Better to deal with it now rather than lat- Oh, ivory."

She was over in her highchair, mashing up the pieces of banana that her mother had given her, and was suddenly fussy. She wanted her bottle. Right then! No exceptions!

Not even for dead beloved pets.

Ivory didn't have a very fun morning. Her big bubbas and big cousin weren't very interested in her at all and her daddy stayed out in the backyard for a long time. Then the big dopey dog wasn't around to bother her and make her cry which, fine, was a great thing, but at the same time, was kinda weird. He was always there, sticking his face in her face as she played on the floor, slobbering on her and standing guard over her (or at least he thought he was; she thought that he was just being annoying).

Then, worst of all, Mommy left the house. Which wasn't odd; Mirajane left for work all the time. But Ivory, whose day was all ready disjointed, just wanted her mother to snuggle with and listen to talk and sing and that weird talk-singing thing Mirajane did when she went around the house, cleaning up.

But Mira would be back soon. She wasn't actually going in that day. She was going to ask someone to cover for her and then track down her siblings and their cohorts.

There was a funeral to get prepared for.

Needless to say, Ivory didn't enjoy the afternoon either. When the whole family showed up, it was more than annoying. Her Aunt Evergreen was very piqued about coming over, so she was very snippy with everyone. And Uncle Elf was real sad. He cried with Pike and called themselves both real men.

Then Freed showed up. He wasn't really one of her uncles, but he was always coming to family events and, apparently, they were having one. He went out to the backyard with Daddy though and watched him dig a hole. Ivory, the one time that Mirajane went out there to speak with her husband and was carrying her in her arms, saw the doggy out there too, but he didn't rush to greet her.

Daddy was really sweaty out there, digging that hole, and when ivory cried for him, he was too busy with what he was doing to even pay her any attention.

Which was fine. Ivory probably wouldn't have liked him all stinky and nasty anyways.

Eventually Aunt Lisanna and Bickslow showed up. He was decked out in a suit and Lisanna was wearing a black dress, which made Freed and Ever roll their eyes, but the little boys were very appreciative of their solemn attire.

In fact, before the ceremony, they went to put on their own cute little dress clothes that they only wore to the utmost of important events. Like weddings. Or the few times a year Mira somehow conned Laxus into going to church because she had a bad dream about when Lisanna was dead.

Now, apparently, they were meant to dress for funerals as well.

Pike, who always liked getting all gussied up and having his mother gel his hair just so, was not amused that day. It was very solemnly that he let his Uncle Elfman help him put on his big boy shirt and pants, as well as his nicest pair of shoes.

Mace's mother had brought him his nice clothes over, though she was just as bitchy about the whole thing as she was with most thing. The little boy kept trying to explain to Evergreen that Two had been a very special friend and that she should feel badly as well, but she only would give him that really mean look that she usually reserved for his father before grumbling about how things died; that was the only reason that others lived.

Nathan, however, took it all with the same seriousness that he did everything. He went into the bathroom and stared in the mirror as he carefully clipped on his tie and tucked in his shirt. Still having kept the tears in the entire time, he found it rather soothing to obsess, rather, with not only his attire, but also the funeral.

After all, not only would it be the first one that he was hosting (did people host those sorts of things; he'd have to ask his mother), but also the first one he had ever been to.

And for it to have been a funeral of his very best friend.

Huh.

Outside, Laxus finally dug a deep enough and wide enough hole for the poor pooch and, out there alone then, he only stood there, sun high in the sky, and sweating like a pig.

Glancing to the side, he frowned at the sight of Two, there on the ground, lifeless. It was rather depressing, actually, when he thought about it. The dog had offered nothing to society, fine, but he had been the best companion his sons had ever known. And yeah, he was annoying as hell and pestered Laxus to no end, but he wasn't a bad dog.

Just...not a great one.

"Don't give me that look," Laxus grumbled slightly as he stared over at the beast, ignoring the fact that his eyes were and forever would remain shut. "You lived a great life. You got to be a Strauss! And then a...Dreyar. You had Mirajane as a mother and my kids to play with. I kept you feed and housed and… So you had some rough years, on your own. So did I. And if I died tomorrow, I wouldn't feel bad. So you don't either." Then, driving his shovel into the ground, he wiped the sweat from his brow before adding, "Ya damn dog."

For the record, Bickslow was very behind the idea of having a morbid funeral for a dead animal that was potentially scarring to his young kinda sorta nephews.

After all, it was something quite similar that had made him the way he was. Death. That human fascination grabbed his young and shaped him into the man (read freak) he was that very day.

Lisanna, however, was more than a little weirded out by the whole thing. She saw it more as her sister forcing the boys into holding a funeral for the dog more for her benefit. Perhaps not consciously, but she was nearly certain the whole thing had more to do with the fact that Mirajane had just lost something that had been a big decade of her entire life with no warning.

Because, honestly, dying in your sleep was a great thing for the person it happened to, but a pretty fucked up thing to leave your friends and family with. Even a heart attack was a bit more closure.

Still, she'd dressed the part, as her sister had asked her to, and looked over Mace's program that he handed her quite thoughtfully, glancing at the drawings the boy had done of the dog as well as the nice little paragraph he'd written about Two and all that he'd meant to them.

Pike, after whining and sobbing most of the day, mostly just rested against his father's side as they stood around the pit dug for poor Two out in the backyard. Bickslow's babies, who had been keyed in by the seith to be in their most downcast mood, only hung around Pike's head and whined softly along with him, as they had been doing since they'd arrived.

In his arms, Makarov held Ivory, who mostly just whined a bit for her mother and her bubbas and her father and just because she was cranky.

Alright? That's just the deal. Ivory was cranky. So what?

Nathan stood at the top of the hole, a little paper in his hands, of which he began to read.

"Two was a very good dog," he said as the others just stared at him and he stared just as hard down at his paper. "He was the best dog. And he would still be the best dog if," and he lifted his eyes then, just to glare across the hole at his father, "someone had taken him to the vet! But they didn't! Because they're a horrible person! They never liked Two and now he's dead and that's why I hate you!"

Everyone was too shocked to speak. Freed, who was standing next to Laxus, only shook his head a bit.

"N-Nathan," he stuttered, "if you had only asked me to take your pet to the veterinarian, I would have-"

"Not you," the boy complained, raising an accusatory finger. "You!"

Laxus, who'd known all along just what the boy was talking about, only glared. "I didn't kill your dog, Nathan. And you're ruining your own stupid funeral thing. You-"

"It's not stupid!" Pike glared at his father as well then. "Two should have a funeral if everyone else gets one!"

"This went south fast," Lisanna whispered to her boyfriend as Mirajane rushed to go grab Nathan and talk to him softly. "Real fast."

"With these people,' he replied, "when doesn't it? Honestly, I thought that was the reason we still came around? It's the whole reason I came to an animal's funeral in the first place; for the blow up."

And oh, was there a blow up. Nathan kept insisting that Laxus was the reason his dog was dead, Pike started crying again, Ivory, done with them all for the day, began wailing, while poor Mace just stood there, staring down at his program that he'd worked so hard on (each time he'd made it), sniffling just a bit.

"Did Uncle Laxus kill Two?" he asked his father, staring up at the man who was mostly just feeling extremely awkward. Each time he came over to his older sister's house, it seemed, this was what happened.

"Uh...no. Maybe. I'm not too sure."

"Really?" Evergreen, who was enjoying the scene less than anyone, fanned at herself with her hand fan. "I thought men are never unsure?"

Elfman probably would have gone off her, about just how manly he was, had Mace not finished with his sniffles and finally decided that enough was enough.

"Stop it!" He stomped his foot too, at the sight of Nathan yelling at his father, the man doing much the same back, Makarov trying to calm down both Pike and Ivory at the same time, Mirajane attempting to reign in her oldest, and Bickslow and Lisanna clearly thoroughly enjoying themselves. At his exclamation, most of them stopped, though Laxus was still grumbling, quite insistently, that he had _not_ killed the damn dog.

And he hadn't.

Nature had.

So there.

"Two doesn't want you to fight at his funeral!" Mace glared at Nathan mostly. "He was very nice to us. And we got all dressed up to send him off real nice too! So why are you being so bad? Stop it!"

"You stop it!" Nathan never liked it when Mace thought that he was the one at the reigns of things. "Two was my dog! He-"

"Two was Aunt Mira's dog!" Mace looked at her then. "And she loved him. And he loved her. And that's why he loved us. He loved us a lot. He let us pet him and play with him and would chase us around when he wasn't so tired and he let you name him, Nate. Remember? And now you're going to ruin his funeral? That's not nice." Then the boy looked to the ground. "Alexandria the Second wasn't Aunt Mira's first stray dog. He was her second. And he didn't even care when you named him Number Two because that's funny." Bickslow laughed then, but it quickly became a sharp intake of breath as his girlfriend elbowed him in the side. "Two wasn't bad. So you shouldn't make his funeral bad, Nate. He was our friend. And we're supposed to honor him at his funeral. That's what Aunt Mira said. So stop fighting. Just enjoy the funeral." He lifted his head then. "Even if uncle Laxus did kill him."

"I did not," Laxus growled then, "kill the damn dog! He was already dead! He-"

"Laxus, hush." Mirajane, who was still standing by Nathan, glanced down at the boy once more then. He was smoldering, but didn't move away as she reached down to smooth his hair down a bit. "Nate, Mace is right. Even if your father did kill Alexandria-"

"Fuck this!" Laxus tossed up his hands before going to snatch Ivory from his grandfather and stomp back into the house, Freed following faithfully behind. "I dig a hole, I sweat like a pig, I shower, get ready for this funeral and for what? For this?" He frowned as Ivory settled out, almost immediately, in his arms, staring up at him with her big blue eyes. "What are you lookin' at? Huh?"

Just her daddy.

What else?

"Now." Mira patted Nate on the head, figuring it was best if Laxus left anyhow; he'd never been on board with the funeral in the first place and Ivory clearly needed to be taken inside. "Let's start again, huh, boys? I think that Nate was in the middle of his speech-"

"No, I was finished." He held up the paper to her. "See?"

"Oh." Mira frowned. "You actually wrote out all those things you said to your father. Well."

"I love these kids," Bickslow whispered to Lisanna who hid her giggle into the black glove she was wearing. "This was so much better than just laying around and avoiding training all day."

"They are the best."

"Do I get to say something?" Pike was done crying for the moment, it seemed. Rubbing at one of his eyes, he said, "If everyone else did?"

Aunt Ever sighed loudly before anyone got to say anything, clearly annoyed, though she added, "If you say something, Pike, then that'll be the end of this little soiree. Alright, boys? So take us home, Pike."

He only sniffled rather heavily before slowly walking towards the corpse of his dead dog. Reaching into the pocket the slacks he had on, he pulled out a piece of paper with a drawing on it. Gently setting it on poor Two, Pike patted him one last time before saying, "I'll miss you a lot. I like you more than I like anyone. Even Ivory. And Mace. But not as much as Nate. But I think that you liked him more than me too, so that's okay."

But Pike wasn't okay. Because even if that was the end of the funeral, Pike was still rather broken up by Two's death. But that mostly fell into the category of irrational (though at the moment, completely rational) fears that the little boy formed over most things. To say that Pike was a scaredy-cat was an understatement. And the idea that someone could just fall asleep and never wake up was frightening to him. And as they all waited for Mirajane and Lisanna to whip them up some lunch, he only sat in his room, fearful of accidentally falling asleep (he still took naps sometimes) and never waking up.

Ivory, however, had no such fears and it was rather easy for Laxus to get her down for a nap of her own.

"There you go." He stood over her crib with a grin. "You know I didn't kill the dog. Don't you?"

Meh. She still didn't even realize it wasn't alive anyhow.

Or what alive was for that matter.

Nathan and Mace spent the downtime between lunch making up. It wasn't easy. Nathan felt slighted and as if the boy had ruined his funeral. Mace only explained that it wasn't his funeral to begin with; it was Two's. And Two wouldn't want them to accuse Laxus at the funeral. To which Nathan quite skillfully counter argued that he most definitely would; Two loved bothering the big guy too. And that only brought one response out of Mace.

"Na-ah."

"Yes huh!"

And that went on for awhile. Until, you know, Evergreen yelled at them that if they didn't stop bickering, she'd turn them both to stone.

Which worked, only in the fact that it gave the boys something to bond over; namely, their current distaste for Evergreen.

It was a great thing to bond over. And, best of all, with the size of their family, they could jump around on who they were upset at constantly. Bickslow promise to take them somewhere and fall through? Bonding. Freed trying to make them act like proper gentlemen when all they wanted to be were little rascals? Bonding. Lisanna being mean and refusing to buy them some toys when they were out at the market? Instant bonding.

That was the great thing about cousins. Always someone to be pissed at.

Makarov, however, seemed to only be doing worse after the funeral. Mirajane thought that the stress of it all was leading to him needing a rest, but Laxus saw right through that. He knew what the real problem was.

Gramps and the old mutt were pretty much the same thing. At least to the boys. Both had a relationship to their parents that superseded (or at least Nate thought so about the dog; Laxus only met the dog after Nathan was inducted into his life) their own. Both loved Mirajane more than anyone else, practically. Both groaned when they stood up, huffed when their dinner was a late, and fell asleep by seven sharp.

And now one was dead. With, no doubt, the other following not soon after. Judging by their reaction to the first one, the second would only be twice as bad.

"You know, Gramps," Laxus said as he stood in the man's bedroom with him, Makarov resting in the chair that sat in the corner, where he usually read stories to the kids. "Aside from the whole accusing me during the middle of it, I actually thought that things went okay. I mean, I would never have a funeral for a pet-"

"You never had a pet. All the pets I tried to give you didn't like you."

"That's not true." Laxus frowned. "Ivan just didn't like them and would make you take them back. That's all."

"Well, that's what we told you, at least."

"What? Honestly?"

No. Of course not. But Makarov wasn't feeling well and, much the same as his deceased counterpart, tormenting the man always made him feel better.

"Well, this has been a shit day then." Laxus went to sit then on the edge of the man's bed, running a hand over his face. "First the dog dies, then Nate thinks I murdered I by not getting it help, and now you tell me I scared away Mr. Bones?"

"He got a good home," Makarov offered. "And so did Flutters."

"I really liked that bird. And Mr. Bones." Laxus frowned. "Maybe even back then I wasn't meant to be an animal person."

"Come now, boy." Makarov was starting to feel bad about toying with him. "We never got you a cat. Maybe you would have done well with a cat. I hear they're temperamental too."

"Tempera- I'm not temperamental! I- Oh, Ivory."

Apparently, she wasn't ready for a nap as she began crying out for someone to come get her.

"Lax! I'm cooking! And so is Lisanna! And Ever refuses to get the baby and Elf went to get sodas and I don't want Bickslow to pick up the baby after the last time-"

"You almost drop one kid," they heard the seith grumble from somewhere in the house, "and you're treated like an outcast."

"Or, oh, Freed, Laxus is busy or something," he heard Mira call out again. "Can you-"

"I'll get her," Laxus growled as he got to his feet. At least Ivory liked him.

Err, well, liked anyone that was willing to change her diaper. And talk gently to her. Oh, and she was kinda hungry too. Not enough to cry about it, but just whine and wiggle around whenever someone tried to put her down.

"Hey, little buddy. Ivory's gonna have a bottle." Laxus used her discomfort to his advantage as he walked into Pike's room with her in one arm and the bottle in the other. "You wanna try giving it to her?"

Pike liked that. It had taken a few months for him to realize this as, of course, he was too fearful to hold her back in the beginning, but as she grew a bit and he got more comfortable about the idea of her, it became one of the best parts of having a baby sister. It was like she needed him.

He liked being needed.

So he sat on his bed as his father sat next to him, Ivory in his lap, holding her bottle up to her as she drank her fill.

"You know, little buddy," Laxus sighed as he sat there, watching over his two youngest, "I know that this has been a pretty rough day for you."

"Yeah."

"And that you really loved Two."

"Yeah."

"And that...you know, it's a bit scary. Isn't it?"

Pike looked up from Ivory then to stare at his father. "How do I know that I'm not gonna die, Daddy? If I fall asleep? Would you take me to the vet?"

"Buddy, you wouldn't go to the vet." Laxus shook his head a bit. "And your brother's just upset. There wasn't anything any of us could do. Two was already-"

"Then if I go to sleep and get sick and die there's nothing you can do?"

"Pike-"

"Would you just toss me in a hole too?"

"Well, technically, but-"

"Daddy! I don't wanna die!"

"No one does." Laxus sighed, shifting forwards to rest his head in his hands. "You think I do? Or that Two did? No. But it's just what happens. And.. Daddy won't let anything ever happen to you. You know that."

"But what if it happens when I'm asleep?"

"Pike-"

"I'll never sleep again." He looked back down at Ivory. "And I can't let her do it either. Or else she might not..."

"Buddy..." Laxus took a deep breath. "Daddy promises that you'll never fall asleep and not wake up."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I-"

"Then how did it happen to Two?"

"Because he was old," the man explained. "That only happens to old people. And old animals. Not little boys or babies. So don't worry about it. Alright?"

Confused, Pike glanced up at him. "How aren't you worried?"

"What do you mean, buddy?"

Cocking his head to the side, Pike asked, "Aren't you old?"

And the day just got even worse.

Why did Laxus continue to have children with Mirajane? When all they were was rude to him?

Lunch wasn't bad. Lisanna and Bickslow were clearly antsy about having to stick around at a family gathering for so long (Laxus was sure they'd actually had plans before they got forced into going to a dog funeral; ah, to be young and childless) while Evergreen was quite blatanly annoyed.

The boys, at least, seemed to be doing better. Nate wanted Mace to spend the night again, which was a good sign, and Pike only had to be asked twice to eat his vegetables, which was either a good thing (he was actually listening) or a bad thing (he was in such grief that he was actually listening), but neither Mira nor Laxus delved too much deeper.

Other than Pike, honestly, Laxus expected the whole thing to be over. There. The dog was dead. After lunch, Laxus was going to go fill back in the hole. Then they could all move on. It was, after all, just an animal. He wasn't raising no wussies; his boys weren't going to wallow in their grief about a damn dog.

He wasn't raising babies. Err, well, he was raising _a_ baby, but…

The point was that dogs were just animals! Sheesh.

After lunch, most everyone took their leave other than Mace. And Makarov retired to his room once more, that time to truly nap. Upon hearing this, Pike insisted that he go with the man for some reason that no one, but Laxus seemed to understand.

After all, Gramps was great. Youthful in many ways. But still an old fart; Pike had to keep an eye on him.

"Can you take care of Ivory and the boys?" Laxus asked Mira with a kiss before heading towards the backdoor. "I gotta go finish up out there."

Mira grinned down at Ivory when he handed her off. "'kay. Don't hurt your back."

"Hurt my- How old do you think I am?"

"Mmmm."

"That," he grumbled as he headed out the door, "ain't an answer, you know."

"I know."

The day seemed to kind of drag on from there. Mace and Nate had made up, fine, but neither were too enthused about doing anything and mostly just sat around and played with their toys. The only thing that Nate really seemed to enjoy was when Ivory wasn't sleeping and sat down there with them so both he and Mace could play with her (though at her age, that mostly meant shake toys around in her face as she stared at them like they were stupid).

Nate really did like his sister.

He and Mace spent a good chunk of the day, once more, attempting to get her to say their names. Which totally went over Ivory's head, as she basically only knew how to cry and make gurgling noises, but Nate didn't mind.

Only switch to trying to get her to say the word egg when Mira left the room because, you know, that would be a great first word too.

And really funny. Because if she said egg, then his mother couldn't get onto him for calling her Egg.

Could she? Huh?

Well, maybe. Probably. But he wouldn't care none.

Makarov slept a long time. Err, well, he was in his room a long time. Sleep was far as, every twenty minutes, Pike would stop coloring in his coloring book to shove on his Gramps' side and see if he was really sleeping or, rather, dead. And Makarov was too good of a sport to say anything, but honestly, he was more than a bit peeved.

Especially when, that night, at bedtime, Pike insisted upon sleeping with his grandfather. Makarov loved the boy too much to tell him no. And, when, inevitably, some time that night it started to freak Nate and Mace out that Two had died _in the room they were sleeping in which was basically just_ _asking_ _for ghosts_ , it would be Gramps' bed that they crawled in too and that was just fine because he loved his grandsons (and yes, he included Mace in that). Very much.

Even if it meant a sleepless night.

Laxus tossed and turned a lot that night too. Mira could tell as they laid down that night (he actually came to join her later, but Ivory had been whining right before then, so Mira was awake), and asked why almost immediately.

"I dunno," he sighed as she snuggled up to him, staring with concerned eyes. "It's just… I think I'm damn good to my boys."

"You are," Mira said with a slight frown. "Why would you think otherwise?"

"Because," he grumbled, "they think I killed their dog."

"Oh, Lax, Nate was just being-"

"And then Pike called me old-"

"He did?"

"-and even Mace thinks that I was negligent with the damn beast!"

"W-Well-"

"I mean, do they not get that without me, they wouldn't even be here? Pike and Nate, I mean?"

Mira blinked. Then she shrugged as best she could while lying down. "Genetically? Because considering Pike still thinks there's a stork that drops off babies to parents that look like them, I really don't think-"

"He does not," Laxus grumbled, "think that anymore. He just thinks that you prayed for a baby really hard and then, miraculously, it appeared in your stomach."

"If only."

"Mira-"

"Laxus, they know you didn't kill their pet." Or at least she hoped they honestly didn't believe that. "And to Pike, you are old. So am I."

The man only snorted. "I just… I didn't hate the dog, okay?"

Mira blinked. "Okay."

"I mean, fine, sometimes I made it seem like that and, fine, great, I'm not animal friendly, but who was the one that would clean up his poop because you were too squeamish back before the boys were old enough to?"

"Well, I just kinda treated him like a stray back then, so-"

"Me! I did! And who took him for walks?"

"Mostly-"

"Me!"

"Not exactly, but-"

"And you know, even though you all think I'm a big grump-"

"No one has ever-"

"-that has no feelings and no emotions-"

"You're the one that always tries to be-"

"-I can feel empathy. And sympathy. It's not all just apathy." That time, the slayer only took a deep breath before saying, "He was good dog. And I would never do anything to hurt him."

"I know, dragon." Mira pushed up, just a bit, so that she could kiss his cheek. "You loved him."

Grunt. Then, "I'm not a monster. Or Ivan. I would never do something that would hurt them. Or an animal. And Mr. Bones loved me!"

"Not the Mr. Bones story ag-"

"He did. He would lick my face and I taught him to sit-"

"Lax, you know I love you."

"You better."

"But please. Your childhood makes me feel bad." She laid against his chest that time. "And I feel bad enough without Two here." Sniffling, she added, "I loved my dog."

Laxus only patted her head. "I know, demon. I know."

It was, after all, the only reason that they sat through that horrible dog funeral.

The next morning didn't start off like normal. At all. Something felt off as Laxus headed down to the gym to work out and Mira got ready for work as well as tended to Ivory. They both knew what it was, of course, that was bothering them, but neither spoke on it and, though they knew the boys would, kind of hoped they could just get through the day without anymore waterworks.

Pike, pleased that, in his mind, he'd kept his great-grandfather alive, seemed better that day.

"Hi, Ivy," he greeted her as he passed her high chair that morning to go sit at the table where his mother had sat his own breakfast. Ivory only made noises at him which was good enough for Pike; he knew how she felt about him, after all. Words were meaningless.

Mace was rather sleepy at the table and only laid with his head down, not bothered as Nate ate both his own pieces of bacon as well as his cousin's.

"I have to work today, boys," Mira announced to them as she went around the table, kissing all their heads. "Behave for Master and your father, okay? And Mace, I think you'll have to go home sometime today; you've been here for a week, honey."

Meh. He'd go home another day. Like...in another week.

When she got to Laxus, he got two kisses, which was totally unfair, as all three boys frowned, but decided not to say anything because the second one wasn't to his head, but rather his lips and that was just gross.

"You going anywhere today?" she asked him. "Because I don't think that we can get Lisanna and Bickslow to babysit twice in a row."

"They didn't babysit," he grumbled. "They-"

"It counts." To them, anyways. "I'll swing by on my break to bring you guys lunch, okay? And then will be home for dinner. And Master is in the shower now, but he's supposed to come down to the hall at some point; make sure he does. He has some papers to sign."

"Alright," he sighed as Mira only moved onto Ivory then, who got showered with kisses. That time didn't get a complaint of its unfairness because, heck, the boys showered her with kisses and praises too.

It was just a thing.

"See you when you get home," Laxus called after his wife, who only left with a slight giggle. "Love you."

The boys echoed this and then, finally, Mira was gone and it was back to being a boys only house.

Well, Ivory was there, but she hardly counted. She was so tiny, after all.

After breakfast, Pike wanted to go play pirate (alone, he'd specified because if he didn't then the older boys might tag along and they constantly made him pretend to be a hostage and he hated that) while Mace hadn't bathed in a good two days, so Laxus sent him off to get that taken care of.

"Why do I have to do the dishes?" Nathan complained as his father ordered that to be his after breakfast duty. "It's not fair."

"Life's not fair."

Can't argue with that.

Still got some grumbles though.

"Come on." Laxus tapped him on the head. "You just dry 'em, huh? I'll wash."

That was done in silence for a while. Eventually though, Laxus figured that he was the adult and that meant starting the conversation.

"You know, buddy," he began at one point, "I didn't kill your dog. He was already dead. Taking him to the vet would have been a waste of jewels. It hurts, but it's true."

Nathan, who at that moment was running a rag across a plate, only glared down on it. "You don't know that."

"But I do." Then, since the story was already there and fresh and all, Laxus said, "I had a dog once. Err, well, I had a week in which I had a dog. Mr. Bones. It didn't go well. I don't like to talk about it though. Mainly because it kinda sucks. See, Ivan-"

"Dad?"

"What?"

"I don't want to hear this story again."

Laxus blinked. So that was why he kept having more children; he needed more people that hadn't listened to his stories before that wouldn't cut him off during the middle of them.

Oh, and because Mira forced him into it. That was a big one.

And, yeah, of course, since he loved them too. Lots. Maybe that wasn't why he had Nate, but it was definitely why he kept him.

And to get in Mirajane's pants.

A mixture, really.

"Well," Laxus grumbled then, glancing down at him. "The point is that I'm not my father. At all. I take very good care of you boys. All three of you, really. And your sister. And your mother. And your grandfather. Your aunts and uncles. All of you. I buy you all things. Even Ever and Elfman, at times, when they're short on cash. Freed once or twice. And don't even get me started on how much I give to Lisanna and Bickslow-"

"I wasn't trying to."

"The point is, buddy, that I...I love you."

Nathan's eyes grew. Then, making a facing, he scrubbed harder at the plate. "Knock it off."

Oh, he intended to.

Turning his vision back down to the sink, Laxus added, "Just know that I didn't kill your dog. Or was negligent towards him. Whatever. If he'd needed the vet, we'd have been down there that instant. You know that."

"Yeah," he mumbled after a moment's thought. "I know."

And he did. And had. But he'd needed to let his emotions out somehow and Laxus had told him that men don't cry; so he didn't. Instead, he turned his feelings into anger and took them out on his father.

Honestly, Laxus should understand that completely. It was what he'd done to his grandfather for years.

"Two was a good dog," the slayer offered up then and, slowly, Nate moved to set the plate in its place before grabbing another.

"Yeah." He didn't even sniffle. "He was a great one."

* * *

 **This was kind of a weird thing for me to write. My father definitely would have never had a 'funeral' for a pet when we were kids (he's not really big on them for humans, honestly), so I kind of had to put myself in a different mind set. I think Mira would be behind that and consider it emotional healing, though I could also see the others as thinking it was a bit odd, but going along with it for her and the boys' sake.**

 **The dog was actually supposed to die a long time ago, before they moved into the new house, but I never got around to writing it, mainly because I couldn't think of a name for him. I didn't want him to be the same mutt that Mira was caring for in the series because that just seemed far too old for an animal (Nate's nearing ten and the dog wasn't exactly a puppy when Mira was first caring for it anyhow), so he somehow just kept getting to live. I think Mira's the exact kind of simple minded person that would name their dog the same thing over and over again (my grandmother actually did this with all her pets; she just had four dog names she'd cycle through) and that the boys would call him Number Two because that's potty humor and that seems right up their alley.**

 **Anyways, that's it for all the filler in this series and I'll probably start the new story soon. It'll deal less with the kids, I'm hoping, and more with Mirajane's life outside of them and her relationship with Laxus. I feel like a lot has just been the children recently, which is fine, but sort of not the original premise, which was adjusting to children, not the children themselves (same thing with my Remember Me series, which will hopefully start to focus back on the same thing).**


End file.
